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Secret diary of a doctor – bed bugs, sex drives, Fresh …

NHS staff from GPs to nurses, surgeons to pharmacists have shown incredible resilience throughout the pandemic.

But while we have heard heartbreaking stories from Covid sufferers and their families, there can be a lighter side to working in medicine too.

Here, in an exclusive extract from his new book The Secret Doctor, GP Max Skittle recalls some of the funniest and most touching moments from his time working at an inner-city surgery.

Ive an enormous Friday feeling. Its 1pm and Im on a half-day today.

One last patient to see and then Im back home to my wife Alice and the bump. I truly am motoring. Clinical paperwork, done. Emails, read (and selectively ignored). Blood results, checked and actioned.

I look at my jobs list and even thats clear. In this moment, I feel like a capable GP.

I close my eyes and hold on to it all for a few golden seconds, packing it away safely in my memory bank for a rainy day.

With the wind in my clinical sails, I greet Duncan, a nasally well-endowed 23-year-old.

As he places a matchbox next to my keyboard, a small alarm bell rings (a sort of evolved GP Spider-Man sense of the Peter Parker variety) that this is a bit weird.

From then on it all happens in slow motion.

I sit there, listening to Duncan, but already mentally checking out and on my way home to watch Love Island on catch-up with Alice, as he tells me he thinks hes got bed bugs, but wasnt sure. I nod again in slow motion still listening, but not quite putting together the s**t-storm coalescing in front of my eyes.

Before my brain catches up with Duncans explanation of how, since he wasnt sure, he thought hed bring one in that he caught, he slides open the matchbox.

If I inhaled any faster, the now-liberated bed bug wouldve been up my nose in a heartbeat.

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Despite every fibre of my being wanting to tell Duncan hes a f***ing idiot, I shut the box, quickly print out a patient information leaflet on bed bug eradication and delicately instruct him to burn the box and its contents and never to bring a suspected bed bug into my clinic room again.

Ever. I think Ive hurt his feelings so I finish off by commending him for catching the little bugger.

Im in two minds whether to tell Alice when I get home may find myself sleeping in the spare room.

Woke up itching (not in the spare room). Thanks, Duncan!

Mr Toska is 62 years old and a total rock n roller. As he swaggers in, smelling of expensive aftershave, sex, and stale cigar smoke, I immediately remember why I like him he reminds me of some guy straight off an aftershave ad campaign on television.

Here for the results of his recent NHS general health check, he wants me to tell him that hes not likely to have a massive heart attack and drop dead. Sorry, mate, youre in for some disappointing news.

Mr Toska smokes like a chimney, drinks like a (big) fish, has high blood pressure and thinks exercise is for the snowdrop (I think he means snowflake) generation. When you add in his high cholesterol despite protesting he eats healthily, which is clearly an exuberant fabrication in light of his clinical obesity his risk of cardiovascular disease (for example, a heart attack or a stroke) is positively celestial.

I explain all this and tell him he should consider changing his lifestyle and commencing a cholesterol-lowering statin (although that particular advice will all change in the next ten years, Im sure) if he wants to live longer.

Mr Toska looks at me and tells me he doesnt want to do any of that stuff he has a great life. Oh, and by the way, he wants some Viagra as hes got a new girlfriend whos 43 years old and I quote, has a high sex drive.

I darent probe further, despite my morbid curiosity (which you cant help but develop with the job). Anyway, now hes definitely going to have a heart attack.

Despite my concerns and forceful advice, he leaves no different to when he came, seemingly about to sh*g his way into an early grave.

Like I said, total rocknroller.

No words in the English language can capture what Im seeing. My jaw hangs slack, a little more than probably professionally acceptable, as my eyes absorb the flat of 70-year-olds Mr and Mrs Leigh. At first pass I count 16 dreamcatchers hanging from the ceiling.

I stop counting the dreamcatchers for now as my eyes consume the framed photographs on the wall: Barack and Michelle Obama (at his inauguration), seven Alsatians (all individually framed), Cilla Black, and my favourite, Will Smith as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Mind-blown, Im speechless, lost in the wonder of their world. Im not even sure the fact I cant remember why Im here even matters now. I put my medical bag down and sit on their sofa next to about 15 boxes of singing garden gnomes (batteries thankfully not included).

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I get out a printed summary of Mrs Leighs medical notes, trying to bury my excitement at this wonderland and suppress all the many, many questions I have and be more GP-like.

Im here for her first diabetic review (most long-term health conditions have some kind of annual check-up scheduled by the GP).

Shes received this recent diagnosis of type 2 diabetes mellitus, picked up on a set of annual blood tests by the district nurses.

Mr and Mrs Leigh sit in front of me, taking in the information about what diabetes is, how it can occur, what the treatment will entail, and what an annual review like the one today involves.

Do you like Home and Away, Max?

Im already on first-name terms.

Bloody love that. Theres something about these two that really makes me want them to like me. Slightly blindsided by the question, I explain, while trying to professionally complete her diabetes checks, that while I dont get a lot of time to watch it (given the fact Im no longer 15 years old, have a job, and moved out of the 1990s), Im sure its still great.

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Fighting the urge, I stop short of telling them Im sure I could probably still sing its theme tune.

God, I want to impress them.

Mr Leigh reappears as I pack up my bag, the diabetes review testing now complete.

He has a photo for me of their wedding day from 50 years ago.

Im really touched, if not slightly confused as to why he has this handy for such an occasion.

I listen with a warm sense of happiness for them as they speak about it with such reminiscent love.

A wave of pessimism sweeps over me sh**, am I being groomed? Itll be sweets in the bedroom next. I bat it away (putting it down to lunchtime hunger) and accept the photograph graciously, not quite sure what else to do.

I wonder what Alice will say? Maybe not one for the family photo wall. Still, a caring gesture nonetheless. And with that, I say goodbye, leaving the Leighs wonderland.

I really do hope to come back soon, this being one of the most fascinating home visits. EVER.

One things for sure, these two need their own television show I even know a theme tune for it . . .

I couldnt have ironed a shirt that well if I had all day. Let alone, square a tie off that neatly and pair it perfectly with a buttoned-up blazer. Also, I dont think I can stand up that straight. As I hover in Mr Cheemas living room, Im acutely aware that my shirts creased, definitely not tucked in at the back, and my trousers (yet again) are covered in my son Williams regurgitated milk from this mornings feeding frenzy.

I also find myself straining to stand up straighter, aware of my comparably inadequate posture. Mr Cheemas incredible: he walks over and shakes my hand, eyes evidently still full of twinkle. He invites me to sit, and I do so in silence, a little stunned by the amount of life in this man.

At one hundred years and two weeks (he adds, exuberantly) he looks 40 years his junior.

I wasnt expecting to find the answer to eternal youth on todays home visit.

Whats your secret? I have to ask as we sit here, imagining all the changes that hes lived through in this world.

Being kind and happy, he says without hesitation, not a beat missed.

A little disappointed at the intangibility of his answer, I probe for anything else more tangible like cheese. Or holidays to Bali.

Sadly, he says thats it. I make a mental note to remember this. Aware that this afternoons clinic is only half an hour away, I get down to business.

Now clinically speaking, theres not much wrong with Mr Cheema. To be honest, at his age, Ive also no interest in poking around to find something to sour his remaining years.

This visit is rather a general check-up as we havent seen him for a while.

Remarkably, he still lives alone with only one weekly carer doing some odd jobs for him.

I take in how immaculate his compact first-floor flat is, while the blood pressure machine tells me that he still has the blood pressure of a 21-year-old Olympic-level gymnast.

Yet, as with all of us, if you scratch deep enough, youll always find something. I can feel the quiet of his life, strange as that sounds.

The flat is a cacophony of newspapers, books, and crosswords.

Do you see many people?

Mr Cheemas veneer didnt take much scratching. It turns out he is in fact incredibly lonely, and has been for years.

He sees hardly anyone at all, with no family nearby (all largely dead, including his wife some 20 years ago), and a community that he doesnt really recognise or understand any more.

This upsets me for two reasons: first, this man clearly has so much to give.

Second, weve become the kind of non-communicable society thats perpetuated and fostered loneliness despite being on top of each other in bricks and mortar.

Its something Im seeing more and more in the patients I meet.

Yet Mr Cheemas clearly still up for life I love that about him.

We can all take a leaf out of this centenarian (and two weeks) book.

He agrees for me to get in touch with the local Age Concern organisation and some of the other local services that plan social activities like tea and cake mornings (though I do promise him that they do other things a little more exciting too).

Before leaving, I ask him to show me the secret to ironing his shirt so well.

Thankfully, his advice here is a little more tangible than being kind and happy to your shirt.

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Bed Bugs vs Mites: How to Tell the Difference | Terminix

No one wants their home to be infested with bed bugsor mites. Before you can eliminate either of these pests, however, its important to understand some of the distinct differences between the two. When you are trying to differentiate between mites vs. bed bugs, its often a good idea to call on a bed bug control professional for assistance. Below are some facts about each pest that might help you.

Adult bed bugs are reddish-brown in color and about one-fourth of an inch long. Their bodies are oval and flattened, somewhat resembling an apple seed. They have six, slender legs and possess two antennae. Bed bugs have a long, slender mouthpart known as the proboscis that they use to pierce the skin of the host animal and siphon a blood meal. Immature bed bugs, called nymphs, look the same as the adults except that they are smaller and their color will usually be much lighter.

More than 46,000 species of mites have been identified, so the appearance will vary greatly among the different types. Mites are not actually insects. They are categorized as arachnids. Spiders and ticks also belong to this group and are closely related to mites. Most mites are approximately one-eighth of an inch long and can be seen with the naked eye, although some species are so small that they cannot be seen without the aid of a magnifying glass or microscope. Mites develop through four life stages egg, larval, nymph and adult. Immature mites have six legs. Adults have eight legs.

Bed bugs are typically found, as their name implies, in or near your bed. They can be found in the seams and folds of mattresses as well as in box springs. A common place to find bed bugs is behind the headboard where it abuts or is attached to the wall. As a bed bug infestation grows, they spread to nearby articles of upholstered furniture, behind baseboards, into wall voids, beneath loose flooring and behind electrical switches.

There are three species of mites that readily infest homes the bird mite, the clover mite and the dust mite. The bird mite prefers to feed on the blood of birds and rodents, but will bite humans if their host animal dies. Because they are carried by their host to various locations, they can be found inside walls, in the attic and in cracks and crevices near wherever birds or rodents may nest. Clover mites do not bite humans, but they can be alarming because they sometimes enter buildings by the thousands. Clover mites feed on clover, ivy, fruit trees and other plants and tend to enter structures when food sources outside are in short supply. The dust mite is so small its virtually invisible. These mites do not feed on humans, but can easily become airborne. Dust mites and their feces are one of the most common allergens found indoors. Pillows, mattresses and upholstered furniture are typical harborage sites for dust mites.

If you are concerned about bed bugs or mites carrying disease, you should know that bed bugs are not known to transmit any disease to humans. Only a few species of mites rarely have. Both can, however, cause skin irritations or allergic reactions due to their bite.

Now that you have more information about mites vs. bed bugs, it should be a given that you dont want either of these pests invading your space. Call the pest management professionals at Terminix to help keep these and other pests from bugging you.

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How to bed bug proof your luggage at a hotel …

Being on vacation and probably spending quality time with family and friends is always a beautiful experience. Unfortunately, sometimes you may get back home with an additional company. Yes, bed bugs can find their way into your luggage while at the hotel. These pests can be killjoys, especially when they live long enough to lay eggs and develop into an infestation.

You can avoid being troubled by bed bugs when you find a way to block them from gaining entry into your suitcases. Hotels usually are hotspots for these pests due to the high traffic of people from everywhere. Despite the facilities observing high cleanliness levels, there are still possibilities of new infestations as people keep coming more. Which are some of the reliable ways to secure the luggage from these pests?

Buy luggage coversThese days, some covers are meant explicitly for suitcases and, most importantly, for keeping bed bugs at bay. What you need is to always make the bags, and other luggage is on the cover throughout. Being reluctant to do this even for a minute could pave the way for the pests. The majority of the bed bug protectors go inside the bags.

They, unfortunately, dont do comprehensive coverage of the luggage. This is why the external bags are the best. They seal even the handles and zip areas which give room for bed bugs. A typical plastic bag can do the job perfectly well. Being transparent, you will have the ability to have a clear view of things. Bed bugs can hardly burrow through these bags; hence you can be sure of a total block. However, be much focused on the wrinkles on the bag surface, some could hide there.

Use spray repellantIt is natural for bed bugs to avoid substances that they find toxic to them. With their sense of smell, they can tell where to go and where not to. This is why using repellants is a brilliant idea if you want these insects not to be part of your luggage. In a domestic setting, these bed bug repellants may not be a great idea as they usually may make them stay at specific points and start to multiply.

However, when traveling, you need to consider the repellants as they protect your luggage accordingly. It is a beautiful idea to refrain from DIY sprays such as peppermint as they kill on contact. This means they cannot help in keeping off the insects afterward. The synthetic sprays in the market are the best since they have active components which can surface for days or weeks. It means that they will repel any potential invaders at the hotel.

Find knowledge onlineThese days, some websites are resourceful when it comes to information. Some of these belong to experts or people with passion in specific fields. Therefore, there are worthy sites that you can surf through and get relevant content concerning bed bugs. This means that such websites make you know how to safeguard your luggage from the bed bugs in your room at a hotel. The focus on the different routes the pests use makes you understand how better to lay protective measures.

You may end up learning more about the behavior of the bed bugs. For instance, you know about the characteristics of male and female bugs and how they tend to spread. Such knowledge acts as an eye-opener of how significant it is to prevent them from entering your home through the luggage.

Do some inspection when you reach homeIt is likely to be exhausted after a vacation somewhere. The recreational activities and long journey could make you only wish for a hot coffee, shower, then sleep. However, this may not be an excellent idea for anyone wishing to curb the spread of bedbugs from the hotel. Its a pretty good thing to keep your luggage at a specific point, such as the balcony, and scrutinize each item.

You could do this with someone extra as more eyes are better at ensuring everything is alright. To be on the safer side, consider putting all the clothing into the washing machine, and this includes both the clean and untidy ones. Through this, both the eggs and the bed bugs themselves will be exterminated.

Check your hotel room wellYou could be mind-blown by the aesthetic structures and sleek environment whenever you arrive at your accommodation unit. The truth is, this is not an indicator that you are safe. It is always good to do some inspection at the potential areas where the bed bugs hide. This could be along the inner edges of the bed. Focus also on the cracks in the furniture in the room. These checks are the last thing you want on a vacation as you only want to spend quality time. They are worth doing since you can be sure of not having sleepless nights when the pests start attacking. If you notice anything unusual, you can always ask the management to find you another room. Restaurants also can allow refunds meaning you can quickly shift to a different hotel if the place no longer pleases you.

Separate used clothes

Photo by David Lezcano on Unsplash

There is a high chance of catching bed bugs from the outdoor spaces while at a hotel. This could be at the seminar rooms, dining areas, rooftops, and the like. Thus, whenever you wear some clothes, be more well-organized and keep them in a separate place.

With this, you lower the probability of mixing the used and the clean clothes, which may increase the chances of spreading the pests if any is present. If possible, have some cover bags for such items. Additionally, keep your room organized. For instance, avoid leaving clothes on the floor, which puts you at a higher risk of bed bugs.

While spending a night or some in a hotel, there is a need to be extra cautious not to pick some bed bugs. Your luggage, therefore, needs proper shielding, such as by having covers for the suitcases. Another option is using bed bug repellant sprays. Most importantly, gather information online on everything to do with bed bugs as it makes you more informed hence vigilant.

Main photo by Brevit on Unsplash

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What Do Bed Bugs Eat? | Terminix

While bed bugs like human blood, they have been known to feed on animals like bats too. Discover more about bed bugs and their different types.

Bed bugs. You want them gone. They want to take over your home and your bed. They do that well, staying hidden by day and preying on you at night while you are defenseless. This works for them and keeps them out of trouble with their human blood donors. But what do bed bugs eat besides blood?

There are many species of bed bugs, and they all feed on blood. Most species prefer one mammal over another. For some, the blood of specific mammals is required for them to lay viable eggs and survive. Most bed bugs, however, will feed on any blood available to sustain themselves, if their preferred warm blood is not available.

The most common species of bed bug associated with people is formally named Cimex lectularius. Human blood is their primary energy source. We house them, feed their young and provide them with the nutritional elements they must have to breed and produce viable eggs.

Should bed bugs be found in your house, they will most likely be C. lectularius, but it is important to remember that there is a possibility of other species invading, such as bat bugs. Bat bugs are in the same family as bed bugs and formally named Cimex adjunctus. As their name indicates, bat bugs live with and feed mostly on bats. Like C. lectularius, they will feed and survive on the blood of other mammals, including humans, but they must have bat blood to reproduce.

It is very important to identify which Cimex species you have, because their habits and habitats are quite different. In a typical bed bug infestation, close to 70 percent of the bed bugs will be either on or very close to the bed area.

You may not realize you have a bat infestation until bat bugs are identified in your home. Bat bug infestations will usually be in the attic or wall voids where bats have been nesting. These hiding spots are in completely different locations than that of bed bugs. Control must include removal of the bats and the bat bugs.

What do bed bugs eat? They might snack on animals. They might have bat-tasting relatives. But in the end, the bed bugs favorite thing to eat is your blood. It will probably take a professional pest management specialist to identify whether you are dealing with human bloodsuckers or their bat brethren. The primary identifier is the relationship between the length of the hairs on the pronotum and the size of the eyes. Dont know what a pronotum is? Then save your time, and your blood call a professional.

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Signs of Bed Bugs | Terminix

If there are bed bugs in your room, you might be wondering how to treat bed bug bites and eliminate the pest. And if you're nervous about the possibility of bed bugs in your room, checking for bed bugs is easy, if you know how. Learn how to perform a DIY check today.

Unfortunately, bed bugs can behard to find. And despite the ongoing bed bug epidemic, many people still don't know what a bed bug even looks like. This University of Minnesota extension page does a good job explaining the complexities of finding live bed bugs considering their changing stages of life, saying:

"...eggs hatch in about six to 10 days and the newly emerged bed bug nymphs seek a blood meal. Immature nymphs molt five times (i.e., they shed their outer exoskeletons in order to grow) before reaching adulthood. They need to feed at least once before each molt, although they could feed as often as once a day. There may be three or more generations per year."

You can see pictures of bed bugs in their various stages over at the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) website, but keep in mind that bed bugs are nocturnal. Identifying bed bugs during the day requires a bit of good or bad luck (depending on your view) and some persistence.

Bed bug bites are often mistaken for mosquito bites or bites from other insects, and some people show no reaction at all to bed bug bites. So its no wonder they go undetected for long periods.

However, if you know the right place to look, you may be able to spot bed bugs. Adult bed bugs can be seen with the naked eyeno equipment is required. Check:

Mature bed bugs are about the size of an apple seed (approximately five millimeters). They are reddish-brown, wingless and flat, although they swell up like a torpedo after a blood feeding. When that happens, they change to bright red in color, taking days to return to reddish-brown.

Immature bed bugs are categorized by one of the five immature stages as they approach adulthood. They can also be seen by the naked eye, though the bed bugs in the youngest stage are very difficult to spot. Eggs are even smaller and much harder to see but can provide another sign of bed bug presence. Eggs are pearly white, found in clusters and are about one millimeter long.

Bed bugs congregate near where their host (human) sleeps, creating aggregations. Bed bugs from all five stages of development group together, which means they may vary in shapes and sizes. Among these groups, remains of exoskeletons (bed bug shells), feces and egg castings accumulate. A variety of conditions may cause aggregation, including specific smells, chemical stimuli, stimulation of antennae and microclimate factors such as temperature, humidity and light. Aggregations can be found around wood framing like that around a closet door, inside chipped paint indentions, around baseboards, curtain rods, air conditioners and personal belongings.

Bed bugs are smart enough to hide but not smart enoughto clean up the evidence of their bloodthirsty crimes. These careless clues are the best indicator your room is overrun with bed bugs since secondary signs of bed bug infestation are visible both night and day:

Do you suspect bed bugs in your room? Take the sheets off your bed and look at the edges, crevices and piping of your mattress. Bed bugs are flat, almond-shaped, reddish-brown and very tiny. Look in the box spring and check for various sizes and stages, from bed bug eggs to adults. Varying size also applies to secondary signs of infestation (i.e., cast/shed skins).

Here's a little more detail about some common signs of bed bugs:

Look out for empty shells that may exist where bed bugs aggregate and feed. Bed bugs grow with each blood meal on the way to maturity. In doing so, they shed their exoskeletons or shells in order to grow larger. This process is called molting. Each bed bug will molt five times as they progress through each of the five immature stages. Where infestations grow large, there will be hundreds if not thousands of molted skins left behind, regardless of the duration of the infestation. The shells look like the bed bug itself but are translucent. They are different sizes due to the different life stages.

Signs of bed bugs include liquid waste, which is found wherever they go. Bed bug fecal spotsdiffer from blood stains. As bedbugs.net points out:

"Because bed bugs generally feast on the blood of their hosts, creeping out of hiding places at night to latch on, some people think that fecal stains from the insects should at least be tinged with the color of blood. This is not, in fact, the case. Fecal spotting tends to resemble smears or stains, which are dark brown or even black. This is because the blood has been digested and excreted."

Bed bugs are ectoparasites, meaning theylive on the outside of their host and feed on its blood. They feed between five to seven days whenever a host is present.

Here's how to perform a DIY bed bug check. You will quickly learn how to tell if your home has been invaded and how to treat bed bug bites if you have them. Once you confirm the infestation has begun, remember that the main goal is to end it even quicker.

The most telltale sign of a bed bug problem isn't the bed bug's bite. As the United States Environmental Protection Agency points out:

"Bites on the skin are a poor indicator of a bed bug infestation. Bed bug bites can look like bites from other insects (such as mosquitoes or chiggers), rashes (such as eczema or fungal infections) or even hives. Some people do not react to bed bug bites at all."

Look for these signs of symptoms of a bed bug bite:

Check out these pictures of bed bug bites from American Family Physician, showing the characteristic wheals (temporary raised, red, itchy welts) and clusters associated with the aftermath of a feeding.

Now that you know the signs of a bed bug infestation, here's how to get rid of bed bug bites. The American Academy of Dermatology recommends you see a dermatologist if you have multiple bites, blisters, oozing, pus or any other signs of a severe allergic reaction or infection. Otherwise, their recommended bed bug bite treatment is:

"Wash the bites with soap and water. This will help prevent a skin infection and help reduce itchiness. If the bites itch, apply a corticosteroid cream to the bites. You can get a weak form of this medicine without a prescription at your local drugstore. Stronger corticosteroids require a prescription."

Bed bugs are very difficult to get rid of. They typically require a strategic approach to using multiple methods to fully remove them from your home once they have established an infestation. That's why it's important to contact a professional who's knowledgeable and trained in bed bug control to inspect your home and determine the best treatment methods.

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